And then I just remember hearing the number 8. I was already dilated to 8 CM. My heart dropped and I immediately yelled “Please let me have the epidural, please!”

It was almost scary to feel my body internally take over like that with little to no “effort” on my end. It was so intense and unreal to experience. I birthed my son standing up in less than 10 minutes.

Grief and regret post traumatic birth is a VERY real thing… I experienced it after the birth of my son! This is why I worked so hard and prayed for God’s blessings and protection over the birth of my daughter.

You’re probably asking yourself how you’ll know when labor has truly begun. What signs should you be watching for? And when should you call or text your doula(s)? When should you call your midwife/OB?

Trauma is magnified in pregnancy… especially past pregnancy, loss and/or birth trauma. Trauma leads us to be safety-seeking asking ourselves “what can I do so this doesn’t happen again?”.