Reflecting On My Home Birth - One Year Later {Birth Story}

On January 1, 2022, we were outside taking down all of our Christmas decorations. The inside was already done that morning. My due date was Jan. 4th. I wanted everything clean and ready, just in case. While I was playing with my firstborn, Chandler, I noticed a small gush. I went to the bathroom and sure enough, it was some clear fluid. It continued to trickle little by little for the remainder of the day. I waited it out for about 4 hours and then contacted my midwife saying, “I think my water has broken and it’s slowly leaking.” She told me to take a bath and relax. Labor could happen that night or it could still be a couple of days and she didn’t want me to waste any energy. As I prepared the bath, more water fell onto the floor. Enough for me to text her again and say, “it is definitely my water!” I was so excited. For weeks I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions that would come on every evening and would come every 10 minutes for 2 hours. Nothing painful, just annoying and uncomfortable. For something to finally be a “sign” of labor was a relief. I got in the tub and tried to relax but my mind was racing. I got out, put magnesium lotion on my legs, and got in bed.

Around 1:00 AM, contractions began. They came about every 10 minutes making me uncomfortable enough to the point that I couldn’t sleep but at least doze some. Around 7:00AM, I got up. My husband Ben had made breakfast and as I sat down to eat, I realized that they had stopped. I was pretty disappointed. My parents came and picked up Chandler. They planned to keep him overnight in case anything ramped back up again. The rest of the day Ben and I watched movies, went for a walk, and just had some good quality time together. I had about 1-2 contractions every hour. I was still leaking fluid and losing my mucus plug throughout the day as well. I texted my very close friend Kristian, who happens to be a doula, but for my birth was the midwife’s assistant. I said, “This will happen, right?” She said, “YES!” along with other words of encouragement. She also gave me options to try and kick start labor again. Ben and I discussed them but we decided to prioritize rest. My last labor was 50+ hours. I wanted to be well and rested in case it decided to happen that way once more. I placed it in God’s hands. Not an hour later my mom texted me saying, “I just want to encourage you to rest and have peace about it all.” That evening we confirmed the plan to have Chandler sleep at my parents house. I felt so guilty but I knew it might be a long sleepless night ahead. We said goodnight to him over FaceTime. The last night before he would become a big brother. 

I got in the tub sometime between 8:00-9:00PM. I put on some worship music and prayed. I texted my midwife and told her that I hated the fact that labor likes to progress at night. Ben came in and sat with me and I started crying. I just didn’t know when it would happen and I was already tired… everything was tired - mind, body, and soul. He said, “I think we both know this will be the longest night you will have in a long time. It is one night though and you CAN do it!” We snuggled up in bed and I fell asleep while watching Friends around 11. 

At 1:00 AM, I woke up to contractions. I thought, “alright… here we go!” I stayed in bed through a few more surges and got up and went into the living room. I poured myself some pineapple juice and started scrolling through Facebook. Everyone was posting about the insane wind that was going on outside and how they couldn’t sleep. I peeked outside and sure enough, the wind was howling! The house was creaking and the trees outside were swaying back and forth, just as I was swaying back and forth and leaning over the couch. I laughed to myself thinking about all the people that were currently awake, but for a very different reason than me. I went into the guest bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I had been timing my contractions for the last hour and they were 6-7 minutes apart - sometimes longer, sometimes shorter, lasting for at least one minute each. I decided I would labor for a little longer on my own and then wake Ben. At 4:00 AM, I decided I needed Ben’s support. I woke him up and told him what had been going on for the last 3 hours. I told him I didn’t want to wake him until I needed him - I wanted a fresh and ready-to-go support partner! He took over timing them and around 5:00AM we called my midwife. We let her know they were about 5-6 minutes apart. She told me to get in the tub and it would either space them out or it would really ramp things up. She said it definitely sounded like I was in early labor, though. Her saying this freaked me out. The only thing I could think was, “well how long will this early labor last?” With my first birth, I was in early labor for days. I got in the water and I had about a 17-20 minute break. They immediately picked back up to about 6 minutes apart after that. I stayed in the tub for close to 40 minutes at least. I got out and Ben suggested we lie down. I pulled my leg over a pillow (one of the Spinning Babies techniques) and he snuggled in behind me. To my surprise, I was sleeping! The contractions had not stopped being 6 minutes apart, but I slept in between each one. To me, that was a gift from God. With each contraction, I felt so much pressure. It was so intense. Ben would press his palm right above my tailbone and it would ease up. After 20 minutes of resting/sleeping, we got up. Ben got me a granola bar to nibble on and made me a smoothie. 

At this point, things were progressing faster. The 6 minutes turned to 4 then turned to 3. It was all in my lower back. Lying down or standing still felt like agony. Ben would give me counter pressure (hip squeezes are bomb) while I leaned and swayed on a piece of furniture. I would squat pretty low while doing that - it just felt better. At times, Ben would also hold onto my arms while I’d go through one. Stepping back and forth with me and breathing with me, reminding me to keep my voice low. With each contraction I could feel baby getting lower and lower. It was so cool. I looked up at him and said, “I think we’re having a baby today.” He laughed and said , “you think!?” 

Around 8:00AM, with contractions that were consistently 3 minutes apart, I texted my mom. I told her it might still be a while but it’s getting there. She said she was on her way! The roads were awful because of the storm. It had progressed to ice and snow. Ben had been in contact with the midwife this whole time and she let him know that Kristian would be there soon to be her “eyes on the ground” and let her know when she should head over. 

Ben got the tub ready for me again and I got in. Instead of the water slowing down my contractions, this time it ramped them up - they were coming every 2 minutes. I wanted to crawl out of my body… it was so intense and I was getting so nauseous. My mom showed up and she started praying over me. Ben continued to say sweet things and when Kristian got there she was so encouraging as well. I just remembered wanting to tell everyone to shut up. I needed to focus. I ended up sniffing some peppermint essential oil and it helped my nausea ease up a little. Looking back I find it funny that Ben and I thought the nausea was from hunger, even though I had been eating things here and there all morning. The nausea was actually from the fact that I was in transition. A few more contractions and Kristian got out the doppler to listen to baby’s heartbeat. I stood up so she could get to it but the contractions kept coming and I couldn’t stand still. At this moment I needed to get out of the tub - I couldn’t take it anymore. My mom and Kristian sprung to action remaking the bed for me to get on. It was in this moment we all knew it would be a land birth and not a water birth. I leaned over my bathroom counter and stared at myself in the mirror. I was doing it. I couldn’t believe we were almost there! Wave after wave I swayed and breathed. I suddenly felt an intense urge to pee. They helped me over to the toilet but nothing ever happened - nothing except for one insane contraction. Ben went to put his hand on my back and I swatted him away. I did not want to be touched. Seconds later I instantly regretted and aggressively started motioning for his hand while shouting, “Put it back! Put it back!” I had no idea how much the counter pressure was helping up until that point. After that contraction eased up, they all helped me over to the bed and Kristian had me get into a side lying position with my leg over a pillow. We were still waiting on my midwife, but at that very moment I felt my body bearing down. I looked at Kristian and said “I’m feeling pushy. Do I have to wait?” She said, “Nope, you do what your body is telling you.” My mom, very committed to her task, was timing my contractions. I looked at her and said, “I don’t think you have to do that anymore.” My body started bearing down again and it felt so good to be working with my contractions to get baby out. I look over at Kristian and her fingers are flying across her phone screen - I knew everyone in the room realized this baby would be born without the midwife present. She was still 30 minutes away and snow was making traffic insane on the highway. I heard Kristian say to my mom that the midwife will watch on FaceTime and guide her if needed. I felt so at peace. The idea didn’t even scare me. Kristian kept an eye on the progress down below and decided it would be best if I switched to my other side. They had me turn to the other side and I continued working with my body while on my side holding my leg up. The midwife was called in and put into position to see. I don’t know if it was the awkwardness of the situation or my excitement but I said, “Heyyy!” She said, “Hey girl!! You’re doing it!” With the next contraction I felt him crowning. Ben, who had his hand on my tailbone, said he could feel baby’s head slide past his hand right before it happened. I was smiling and laughing through the entire process. His little head popped out and they told me to bear down a little more and there he was. The cord was short, so Kristian placed him on my stomach. All I could see was a full head of dark hair. My little angel. I couldn’t believe it. He was so peaceful. He didn’t make much noise but after a little bit he began fussing a little, to all of our relief. Even then though, he was so calm. 

The midwife came in the next 20 minutes and delivered the placenta. A couple of days later, I would be told that they found another tiny placenta attached to it upon inspection, leaving them 90% sure my sweet boy started out as a twin. A bittersweet feeling washed over me. One day in Heaven I cannot wait to see if that was the case. As of right now I am so thankful for my wonderful Diederik and that the Lord entrusted me to be his mom. 

This birth was so redemptive for me. The Lord blessed me with the tiniest details within our prayers. We prayed it would be a smooth delivery and that I would have energy throughout it. We asked for a successful home birth and for a short pushing time. We asked that I would bond with him and have a successful nursing session from the get go. My mom had prayed that he would be born to the sound of my laughter. We even half-jokingly had asked for him to be born while it snowed. I look back in awe. I entered the next days of postpartum fully present, empowered, and so incredibly thankful. The care I had received by my midwife and her assistant, Kristian, were unmatched. My midwife had stood outside my shower while I cleaned myself after birth checking on me and talking with me. I felt seen and loved. A completely different experience than my first time. My first birth prepared me for what I wanted and needed the next time and by the grace of God, He placed the most incredible birth professionals in my life to make it happen. I can truly say I’m excited to give birth again. 

Happy 1st Birthday, Diederik! 
Born January 3, 2022 at 10:42AM. 7 lbs. 5 oz.